I woke up in pain yet again today and again started crying in the bathroom as I am trying to clean my wound up. It's been 2 months now and this darn HS won't go away and it's taking it's toll on me.
I feel so alone, ashamed, embarrassed, worthless and so much more. But then I begin to think about all the other folks that are worse off then me in HS and every other horrible disease/disorder out there and I begin to think again how fortunate I truly am and that things could be worse. But in truth my HS can't get any worse in my left armpit since it is already at the final stage 3 of the disorder.
When I woke up thought I turned on the TV and heard the most beautiful voice and song and I think I will adopt it as my HS anthem song of sorts lol. It was Emeli Sande and the song was Next to me. God please stay next to me and help give me the strength to make it through this trying time in my life. Take a listen, I guarantee you will LOVE it!
God I need a touch from you healing hand.
My trust is in you and not on man.
I am suffering each and every day!
With a disease that will not go way.
Doctor after Doctor they have no clue.
Not one them knows just what to do.
I have tried and tried to figure this out.
As to what this disease is all about.
I searched and searched for something that will help to relieve.
Now it is time that I start to believe.
I must study your word and pray with all my might.
That you will take over this terrible fight.
I know you will guide my steps that I take.
And will help me with all the decisions I make.
I know there is a reason for what I’m going through.
Maybe others are watching to see what I will do.
So give me the wisdom and strength that I need.
And help me to follow where ever you lead.
This is my request that I’m asking from you.
Help me dear Lord to see this through.
By Steve Gray
5/24/2012
